I hate change. Change terrifies me and reduces me to the kid who was afraid of bedtime approaching in case she was the only one in the house who couldn't fall asleep.

Change is alright when there's nothing to lose. Then you just steel yourself for the unknown that's coming, and every little friendly approach and thoughtful gesture makes you feel welcome.

But change when everything else is going down the drain feels like you're the only person left in the world and there's nothing familiar to hold on to. Wouldn't it be nice if with every change, you could bring along someone from your old situation? That's why losing a person is the worst change, because that steady part of your life is suddenly gone and no other challenge seems worth braving through.

I am quite afraid. And I'm tired of feeding into this melodrama like it's reality. But it's hard to change who I am.

What a different world it would be, if when we looked at someone, we could see right through them, and see all their goodness radiating outwards. To forget the bad and be captivated by the wonderful.

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It never really goes away. You just suppress it, push it to the back of your mind, and accept its presence like a shadow in your mind. Then one day, you wake up and find something new. And realize that without you noticing, you were letting go all along.