Nowadays, when I tell people, 'I'm too old for that now' and they reply, 'But you're still young!', it should be made known that I'm talking about my biological age.

Truth be told, I can't remember what it's like to like someone romantically, much less like someone enough to be with them everyday for the rest of my life.

Feels overwhelming sometimes, waiting and anticipating the many ways it won't work out. Suppressing the green eyed monster. And dreading being the last one standing.

Change Is Coming

Was talking with Dad in the car the other day. (Which reminds me that I've not spent any quality time with him this holiday and I'm going back in a day. The Great Depression.)

We were discussing friendships. I said that as great and important as it is to keep making friends, there is only so much time one can spend with people and it's best to invest in a few close friends. Dad, however kept insisting that the friends I now have will drift away once everyone's attached/married and I should be prepared to make new friends. So they weren't actually direct arguments against each other, but I was pretty prickly on the subject.

I hate the thought of things changing, even as I secretly long for change. I guess to put it accurately, I want specific things to change and other specific things to always stay the same. But that's not how life works.

As I write this, I am terrified of going back to school to face the 2nd last semester of clinics and the fear of not finishing. Fortunately, I am mentally prepared to go back despite only having spent a few days in KL this time. It irritates me that I'm going back early. Thank God for family on both sides of the straits.

I am also grateful and feel very blessed that my girl friends here who've been with me for more than 10 years are still the same people from the beginning. Glad we got to catch up and reunite again. It always feels wonderful to be around people who're just like family.

Phyllie Billie

Stefanopolis, Golomoloku and Shangkaroo

Everyone together again, except Nat :(

I guard these memories fiercely because I may never again make better ones.

I happened to pick up this book at the Tullamarine Airport in anticipation of my 6 hour wait. It's the latest in the Isabel Dalhousie series, which I had never heard of. I'm still reading it now in KL and I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised at how charming it is. It is thoughtful, fairly moral and lightly philosophical. Always a comfort to know that there are people in the world who think as much as or even more than I do about random things.

Australia

Boo (or Yay) I'm back from Australia! (It's always hard to decide how to feel at the end of a trip).

Wanted to quickly jot down some thoughts before I completely get swept up in real life again. It's always great to realize that there are things in life that can still amaze you, things you're still not jaded about.

So the best part of this trip was probably the people. And indirectly, through the people, getting to experience the city properly. As much as I love traveling with my family, family trips are always about family bonding. Guided tours bring you to and from the hotel without truly experiencing a place. And it's hard to try to mingle with locals when you've your whole family, or worse whole tour group around you, creating this repellent bubble that screams 'Foreigners'.

Traveling with friends, especially friends who have very nice friends who go so far out of their way (like all the way to another universe) to bring you around, is awesome. I feel like I have such a clear picture of the cities I visited.

More importantly, I am humbled by the gestures of humanity I've seen. Okay, it's not save-the-world epic, but I met a person who rented a car to drive us for hours and hours over several days, who let us sleep in his bed while he stayed up so he could drive us an hour away to the airport for us to fly to Sydney, who accompanied me for the evening because my flight was 6 hours later than my friends'. He took me shopping though he was obviously bored and took me to dinner and dessert with his friends. And here I am, almost a complete stranger. And just so many other people who were so quick to extend a warm welcome, to make you feel comfortable. It makes me reconsider my perspective on kindness, my preconceptions and limits.

Might also be the weather. It just makes you more energetic, like you never really get tired.

Other random things I loved from the Melbourne/Sydney trip:

• The coincidence of meeting my senior Wan Yi at the paeds programme in U Mel. What a great day to arrive to find her there. The brunch we had with another FOD graduate.
• The slow pace of life and the friendliness of the people. Makes me feel sad I can't go around saying 'Hi, how're you?' to people back here without them thinking I'm a weirdo.
• The endless eateries and dessert places in Melbourne. And they all have such pretty names and pretty decor.
  
• How proud the people I met were of Melbourne.
  
• How happy the dogs are at Sydney. Wish I could bring my dogs there so they could live happily ever after, walking along pavements and sniffing at grass instead of the pathetic life here. The weather is invigorating and I can imagine my dogs being less smelly, less allergenic.
• The old caretaker with the white beard at the ANZAC War Memorial at Hyde Park. You could feel his love and dedication for the place in how he showed off the building. Also in how pleased he was when I told him it was a very nice place.
  
• The walk from Coogee to Bondi Beach. Breathtaking. Even the part where we walked half an hour in the wrong direction, thanks to me.
  
• How the street shops leave their lights on at night. It makes the view of the buildings from the streets so much prettier and you can even window shop while walking at night.
• Jersey Boys! 105AUD tickets and the best seats in the theatre.
  
• How my initial 10 hour wait at the airport to go back to KL turned into VIP day shopping (where prices are slashed store wide only once every season, and it was the very day I was there!) and meeting more new friends.

There are a tonne of other things to love and some other things to dislike. But as real life reclaims my focus, I shall let them disappear into the recesses of my mind like all other forgotten memories. At least we will always have KJ's polaroids. :D

The Line

The line family.

Hanging with the line has been pretty fun lately. Think it's really nice that we're working at creating this warm family atmosphere. Of course, I worry as usual about overdoing things, wearing out the welcome too early. I am of the opinion that it is not a good idea to wear out the novelty of something too fast. Regular well spaced out doses of something is always healthier to keep the excitement alive. But what do I know?

Some fail camwhore shots i.e. huge ass faces.

We had psuedo BBQ with a hot plate (which cooks much easier!) in the breezy outdoors. Until it got so breezy that all our utensils and sauces went flying and cups went tipping. So we shifted everything indoors like at a Teppanyaki restaurant. Broke my promise about finishing up all the food, so I had to bring the leftover uncooked raw meat home. But I swear the meat was good stuff, I am already looking forward to cooking and eating it on my own.

Willis in hiding.

A Shoe Problem

I very much regret not bringing back my black sneakers or black lab shoes to wear in Australia. How was I to know that nobody in this house owns black covered shoes?

Now my family judges me for wanting to buy a new pair of black shoes to go with most of my black outfits for the trip. Now I've to prove to everybody that I'm not actually the spoilt materialistic person I really am and wear shoes that do not match my clothes at all. I mean seriously, pink or gray shoes with opaque black tights?

Do I sound like Paris Hilton or do I sound like Paris Hilton.

My First RCZ Ride

Owning a sports car is like being good looking, people just can't help but stare. It's also like being good looking from the back, you know they're judging you and waiting to see if you're a Butterface. The biggest downside is the pressure, everybody expects you to drive fast, drive well, park fast, and park well.

And there's no way a normal sized human can fit in the non-existent back seat. I'm never going back in there. Claustrophoooobia.