There's a test on Thursday and another on Friday but all I'm doing is browsing clothes ideas for cool weather in Australia. This is so like me, to find such pleasure fixating over my outfits (regardless of whether they even turn out interesting). It feels like term break already as I sit here quenching my thirst on Ribena and surfing blog pages. Ribena, by the way, is like blood to the vampire in me.
If only H&M could've opened a little earlier. I'm dying to get my hands on a long coat, a sweater dress and a shirt dress. And some in your face tights. A person can just never have enough clothes. There should be a clothes recycling facility so I never have to spend on new clothes, just exchange the old for the new.
Monday, August 29, 2011
What I Am Doing Now
Friday, August 26, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Right Perspective
It is a well-known fact that I am a very loud and obnoxious complainer. As I get older, I seem to be getting more emotional and easily stressed out. Sometimes I am so pissed off that I get a tension headache on one side of my neck and my face is so black on the train that I can see people staring at me with concern.
It is therefore very humbling to think about the things that I have taken for granted in life. Like yesterday, I stepped off the bus while fuming on the way to BSF and saw a blind man at the bus stop. Immediately I wondered, how is he to know when the bus he wants has arrived? I really felt so sad suddenly imagining how hard life must be for him. And I felt ashamed. For awhile. And then thoughts of school came back.
Today, as I laughed at another 'Kids Say The Darndest Things' moment from Jaydon, I recalled how just a few years ago, we had despaired over ever having a proper relationship with him. When Jaydon was younger and diagnosed as mildly autistic, it was with resignation and disappointment when we tried to talk to him but got ignored or rejected. I used to compare him with other kids and feel sad that we may never get to 'ooh' and 'aah' at things he did and said. Or share jokes and play proper games with him.
Today, that seems like a lifetime ago. I even take for granted that he is normal now and bully him as I did my sisters. And that really is what he is, normal now. So much to be grateful for in life, if we only looked through the right lenses.
It is therefore very humbling to think about the things that I have taken for granted in life. Like yesterday, I stepped off the bus while fuming on the way to BSF and saw a blind man at the bus stop. Immediately I wondered, how is he to know when the bus he wants has arrived? I really felt so sad suddenly imagining how hard life must be for him. And I felt ashamed. For awhile. And then thoughts of school came back.
Today, as I laughed at another 'Kids Say The Darndest Things' moment from Jaydon, I recalled how just a few years ago, we had despaired over ever having a proper relationship with him. When Jaydon was younger and diagnosed as mildly autistic, it was with resignation and disappointment when we tried to talk to him but got ignored or rejected. I used to compare him with other kids and feel sad that we may never get to 'ooh' and 'aah' at things he did and said. Or share jokes and play proper games with him.
Today, that seems like a lifetime ago. I even take for granted that he is normal now and bully him as I did my sisters. And that really is what he is, normal now. So much to be grateful for in life, if we only looked through the right lenses.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Grin and Bear It
It is a good and timely reminder that in my profession, there are no off duty moments, at least when you're interacting with people. It's scary but understandable that your every word and action is being scrutinized, especially in terms of being caring and friendly. It's way too easy for me to become curt and impatient, usually when I quickly want to get things done and over with. Though I remind myself to be more personable, sometimes I'm just too preoccupied with myself and I forget that the other person is a human with thoughts and feelings too. I've caught myself being cold and impersonal so often, but by then the first impression is usually made. Fortunately, it is never too late to reverse a first impression. Indeed I am thankful for the little kicks on my ass.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Sunday is like a reprieve from the onslaught of the week. Admittedly, most of the stress is self inflicted. Plus this term I've invented some new obsessions but my lips are sealed on that.
I've embarked on the search for the perfect eyeglass frames, bearing in mind that after refraction my eyes will look like slits. Think I have settled on a pair that is very conspicuous. I will accept the challenge to make it work for me.
And finally, YES! MELANIE IS AMERICA'S FAVOURITE DANCER! AND MINE!
I've embarked on the search for the perfect eyeglass frames, bearing in mind that after refraction my eyes will look like slits. Think I have settled on a pair that is very conspicuous. I will accept the challenge to make it work for me.
And finally, YES! MELANIE IS AMERICA'S FAVOURITE DANCER! AND MINE!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Went for a run for the first time in 5 weeks (++). First I felt like I was having an asthma attack, then a heart attack, then appendicitis. So my run turned into a walk. Decided to work my lungs by singing instead. Hope nobody heard me.
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Guess it hurts less every year. It's a bit like being in a twilight zone. Not entirely sure which emotion is real and which is rehashed or imagined. Sometimes we cling to any form of support we have, just so we don't lose ourselves.
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Guess it hurts less every year. It's a bit like being in a twilight zone. Not entirely sure which emotion is real and which is rehashed or imagined. Sometimes we cling to any form of support we have, just so we don't lose ourselves.
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