Perspective

It is always easier to preach something than to follow what you preach. It's easy to tell someone else to stop moping around, stop thinking negatively and stop feeling sorry for yourself. But sometimes it's unpleasant to realize that you're doing the same thing, although maybe to a less obvious extent.

I've been feeling down supposedly because I don't really have a hang out buddy right now. After lessons are done and over, I go back to my room and don't leave it till the next day. It was a funny chat Chriselle and I had over Skype last night, both of us whining about how we've no good friends. Me wishing I had treasured our fun spontaneous days of long ago.

The other day at the Villa Bali tasting session as well, the others around me were discussing their travels - how far they'd gone, how they go yearly, which places were nicer. I was feeling pretty left out, and like a total noob, sheltered and unworldly. Most of the time I kept silent, except to petulantly say that my family couldn't really afford to travel.

In truth, it struck me that the people I'm surrounded by now put some priority into seeing the world, whereas back home, I've probably been more places than others. I felt quite ashamed at how ungrateful I was being, when my parents plan a holiday for us every year at least.

And just like being friendless, it's extremely childish to sulk when things don't happen to you. It's really about time I became more proactive about things I'd like to see in my own life, rather than feel wronged when they don't.