Sometimes I feel like I'm not meant to be doing this. I can't see myself improving much, and when I do improve at something, I stop doing it for awhile and the moment I try it again, I'm back at square one.

I have this never ending list of mistakes I've made that I'm to learn from and never repeat again. It's growing so long I get a headache trying to remember everything. Which sort of backfires because once I go into panic frozen mode, I can't think clearly at all. I've noticed I am so much sharper and more astute when I'm the assistant, not the operator.

Just don't feel there's any one thing I'm good at. Like I'm kinda lousy at all the specialties anyway. Guess this is just another glory that will go to the Maker if I pull through. Because right now, any success is definitely not going to come from my own hands.