4th of July fireworks on Flickr © Tom SchopperLast Saturday, I found a tube of fat burning lotion with the words 'Caution: Very Hot!' and 2 cute little chilli drawings. It was said to help remove cellulite, my ultimate goal in life. So I rubbed it on my target regions and felt the heat. And kept feeling it, 10 hours later. By then it was literally hell on my ass. The fire burned when I wasn't doing anything, and suddenly would disappear. It's like sitting on a plastic seat at 12 noon. But worse. And then, at 7pm (I applied it at 7.30am), pure relief!
Today, I decided to experiment again, using a tissue, and only a smidget of lotion. The last time, my left hand continued to burn, and so did my eyes when I put on my lenses. Like crying through swollen lids. And now, my bum is roasting again. I'm pretty sure chilli doesn't burn cellulite, it's just stimulating my heat nociceptors.
I need to stop doing these things to myself.
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The most difficult thing for me has always been to just surrender and let go. Even now, my mind is constantly churning out ways to keep it going, unwilling to give up. When will the happy bubble finally burst?
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