Happy Family

The way I interact with my family has influenced how I view relationships with other people. A friend commented more than once that I speak to my elders as though they were my peers or friends. I took that to mean I did not sound terribly respectful.

It's made me evaluate how I view my family members, in particular parents, aunts, uncle and my grandmother. Our family is really big on teasing each other, maybe to a point of being a little rude sometimes. And as monkey see monkey do, the kids pick up on our parents teasing my grandmother and follow suit. For us, being affectionate is bullying and making fun, regaling each other with tales of embarrassing or stupid things someone else in the family has done and laughing until our sides split.

Mostly it's done in good fun and although it occasionally hits a nerve, everyone in the family learns to take it and retaliate with snide remarks. The only problem is when things get out of hand, with everyone so desensitized we don't realize we're hurting each other. It's good that at any one point of time someone is usually astute enough to realize that the target of the current joke is hurt and will defend the person. It's good that we usually try to remind each other to be nice so we don't take each other for granted.

My greatest problem has been how I view other people. I feel like I'm not myself when I can't tease and banter with someone comfortably. Sure, I appreciate many forms of relationships but for someone to be my best friend or for me to feel like they're family, I've to feel comfortable enough joking the way I do at home.

It's a little dysfunctional to look for people you can be mean to. You can see how it may be a little difficult building relationships.