After another long day of building hopping and admin stuff, I trudged home from the bus stop. (Taking the bus is WAY more comfortable than the train.)

Walking around the estate to the main gate of Thomson Grove, only one thing went through my mind: 'Why isn't there someone to stop and give me a lift?' All those NUS Matric bags were turning me into Quasimodo. And this was after I'd recycled half of them on campus.

At the guardhouse, a taxi stopped and the door opened. I saw Mom's head, and she said, 'I thought it was you walking!' 'Eh, it's you!' I cried. So I got in and rode the final 100 meters home.

Bakri, the taxi driver looked pretty amused. Seems he found out Mom needs a cab quite often so whenever he's in the area he gives her a call.

Don't you just love surprises?

From One Soil To Another

It has been one long day of travelling and cat-napping. Time really passes quickly when you know how to sleep anytime, anywhere.

I had my McD's Fillet O' Fish all by my lonesome, turning my back anti-socially on other people so I could stare at my 2 luggage bags. To avoid paying for overweight baggage (which I didn't even have to in the end), I decided to hand carry one, and now my right palm is all chafed and raw feeling. It hurts to wash my hair. Curse you, you weak left limb!

Good thing I went to NUS today, because I am not going back for another long session like that again. And thank goodness I made it as one of the last few before the X-Ray Clinic closed for the day. Chriselle was such a dear, accompanying me the whole time while I went into room after room. Saw a couple of NJC-ians, and Pravin! He called my name, and I couldn't see anyone at first. I love coincidences like these. It makes life so... lively.

Very glad I'm staying there (although minus the perks of a comfy home) because the journey back was the final straw to my poor feet. 1 hour and 40 minutes from leaving the building to reaching the house.

I am getting all geared up! (Psyching myself to my first year of solitude.)

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I suddenly realize how wonderful it is to have friends you can feel secure in your relationship with. Friends who you do not hesitate to ask or say anything for fear of offence or rejection. Friends you don't have to put up a front with, or worry about being overbearing or clingy. Missing you people. =(

Farewell To Me

This is the first sleepover that I woke up feeling so refreshed and not tired! Even at 5 a.m., it all felt so normal, without my usual stress over getting enough beauty sleep. Everything seems to be flowing good.

Highlights of the night were going to Spicy Kitchen in one car, expecting either Lips or Golo to drive up in another. So 10 of us squashed in KAR 8018 (or CarBoight) with 3 passengers in the boot. So fun and refugee-like, haha. So many of us were driving into Nadia that the guard asked Natasha if she was also going to unit #123, and if Phyllis was her friend.

At Spicy, Smarty Nat decided everyone had to have the same drink. Stef and I shouted, 'Teh Tarik!'

We got the shock of our lives when we were waiting outside my old house in the dark at 1 plus. Someone suddenly knocked loudly on the rear windscreen. We couldn't see anybody around and the 3 jakuns at the back screamed and screamed and screamed. Finally we saw my Dad grinning, walking to the house, just returning from work. They screamed so loud (OK, maybe I screamed, too) that people in the house could hear them although we were in the car.

All night, we just hung around, reminisced about high school, looked at old photos and videos and finally dragged our butts up to shoot new clips. None of which I look particularly nice in, but that's just for our eyes. =) The butt dance was so super funny! And Shang & Nat make very good pimps, while I'm sure the rest of you already know how good you are as ahems.

I'm REALLY GOING TO MISS MY GANG! =(

The plant telephone.

Middle-seat hoggers.

The poor mistreated beings a.k.a. Phyl & I.

KAR 8018

"9 Teh Tarik!"

Hah! Forced the 3 piggies to sit behind.

A tremendous first - 9 of us together at an event.

Quah, you stole my pictures of the heads. (And all the others you copied without returning to me.)

Blue Moon

Worli Sea Face on Flickr © Swami Stream

Gah. Packing is taking forever. And I cannot find my jeans! I don't believe I've worn them in months but I have to find them since they're gonna be my staple wear soon.

I notice a diurnal sort of pattern in my emotions daily. I wake up and go, 'Crap. I can't do this.' By afternoon, especially after having woken up early for prayer meeting, I'm feeling super optimistic, pumped up and excited for the future. By late afternoon, I'm starting to feel semi-depressed. If I go out with friends that day, the high will last a little longer, maybe until night. By the time I'm about to sleep, I'm feeling so blue and emo, pondering the endlessness of time, gazing at the path I imagine my life will take. Just before I fall asleep, I think, 'Actually, what's the big deal? Life is going to be good.' And I sleep happy.

The next day, it starts all over again.

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It always feels so good to be missed and wanted. Why can't people appreciate each other more often?

127m Above Street Level

Thanks to Johanna's visit, our gang has probably done more sight-seeing in Malaysia than the rest of my 19 years combined. And yesterday, we got up early to reach KLCC at 7 am so we could get free tickets for the Skybridge.

Pui Yee & JT, the latecomers. Don't feel bad, Pui, how could we have let you stand at the end of the line?
(I was trying to snap a picture of Batman there, wearing the same T-shirt that Margaret almost wore.)

Although, you have to admit, they did cut in front of a LONG line of people.

Someone cut off Margaret, oops. And I put this up cos' Ah Pui looks so pretty. =)

We discovered the Ju-On effect in the Exhibition Area.

Funky 3D glasses. I had no idea what happened in the show and I think Robin decided to sleep.

Margaret found herself a little French girl.
Alice (?) wouldn't let go of Margaret, and her parents were so cute.
Although we were surprised they just let her go with a stranger like that.

Lovey-dovey couples.

Close-up of Tower 1 or Tower 2. They ARE twins, after all, so who can tell?

JT, measuring his height with this machine that compares it with the height of famous buildings.
They made him 188 cm - what a fake. I measured myself against Jin Mao Building and they made me shorter, too!

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Omigosh, buffet steamboat at Yuen's that night was the hardest I'd laughed in forever. My chest was aching and I thought I'd go into cardiac arrest plus I wasn't breathing. They had a sign saying they charge RM6 for every 100g of food that's wasted. So we went wild with suggestions on how to get rid of our food without them noticing.

Things like scooping out the prawns and crabs and breaking them into parts (severing off the prawn's head) and then spreading out the separated pieces onto different plates like they were remnants of a meal. We each tried to eat a mango slice but it was so hard and dry and tasted like... cardboard (assuming cardboard is tasteless). I suggested camouflaging them by placing them strategically on the yellow tablecloth.

Other tactics like sticking food that matched our clothes colours onto our clothes. Or hiding food bits in bowls of soup. Or stuffing your mouth full of food and spitting it out in the toilet bowl. To our horror, when we went to pay the bill, there were CCTVs all over behind the counter. Watching us all along.

And we saw Batman number 2! We seriously thought it was the same guy from the Skybridge at first and I really wanted to say hi. Luckily I realized in time that it wasn't him. What a popular T-shirt.

And even funnier, we took an exit onto the Federal Highway, drove around lost but confidently and came back onto a main road where Robin started clapping because he thought we'd evaded a toll. Actually we were back on the exact same spot we started except in the opposite direction. I think I got abs from laughing so hard.

This is one awesome movie. The Batman franchise is seriously the best of all the superheroes. And now I see why Heath Ledger supposedly died for this role. He was phenomenal. Thinking about his death throughout sort of intensified the show. I realized after the movie that my hands were numb because I was frozen in position with my jaw open and my fingers clenched to my neck for about an hour.

I've been ransacking the house, cupboard after cupboard for clothes to bring. It's going to be about 3 bags full, and I'm starting to wonder if all this is actually necessary. Because I just remembered I can go around wearing baggy Ts and shorts most of the time. Then, I remembered it may be NINE YEARS of clothes I need. So, heck it.

Today, I got my first traffic summons. So sad. Something about getting caught by the police makes you feel humiliated and angry at the same time. But I just decided to space out. Apparently I didn't stop at a red light. Honestly, I don't even remember passing any traffic lights, but I suppose I broke the law unwittingly. And I've never gotten stopped in my life, so I stopped at first and the police car stopped behind me. Then I continued to crawl forward uncertainly, thinking it couldn't be me. But I saw through my rearview mirror that the police car just zoomed forward like they thought I was running away. They drove next to me, stared, pointed and properly signalled me off the road. Sigh. I don't even know how to pay up the summons.

I am also quite addicted to (but quickly getting sick of) Big Apple's Choreo doughnuts.

Judge Not

It is so interesting to find out something new about someone you know, especially someone you think you know very well. When you see the person in a different environment or interacting with a different person, you tend to suddenly see them in a new light. It's humbling because the things you discover make you realize how one dimensional your view of them was. I've found out things about people that have made me embarassed of my initial impression of them. I've seen new sides of people that suddenly made me in awe and more than a little shy around them. Sometimes they reveal to you a skill or a spectacular side of their personality you never noticed before.

It's a reminder to myself to withhold judgment on people I've just met. I've found that over time and in different settings, I've had to take back the thoughts I've had about some people because they turned out to be pretty different. In a good way.

It's in a way scary. It really makes you wonder how many wonderful people you've missed out on just because you dismissed them too quickly.

I Want This For My Birthday

I was about to fall asleep during my afternoon nap when a revelation came to me. I now know what invention would be of the greatest use to me.

A light that operates by sound sensor!

This will solve my problem of realizing the light is still on at the inopportune moment when I'm blissfully about to doze off.

I just have to do something simple like clap my hands or say 'Off!'.

Growing Apart

The moments before I fall asleep are usually filled with the most clarity. It's the time I stare into the darkness and reflect on the day that's past. Sometimes it's when I'm most emo, the way I've been feeling prematurely homesick some nights.

I have a deep fear of changing. Of forgetting, and of loving people less once I'm apart from them. The first time I went away, I cried over the phone because I was afraid I'd grow distant from my family. I always remember Mom's reassurance, 'If you drift away, don't you think I'd pull you back?'

I think it comes from experience. We've all had friends we were once close to, and do not really regret losing today. My theory is that we have a certain limit to our capacity for immediate love , care and attention for others. And usually this extends to the people you are surrounded with and are in close proximity to daily.

There is simply no time to keep up all relationships you hold dear, at least not equally and indiscriminately. That is why, when I'm in Malaysia, I inevitably grow distant from loved ones overseas, and vice versa. To worry about this matter seems a ridiculous waste of time and peace of mind, whereas to let it be seems to let relationships erode naturally.

Which is why I am afraid whenever I have to move. I hate how I'll grow accustomed to life elsewhere and I hate how everyone I leave behind will grow less important to me.

But I must always remember that feelings of distance is only a temporary condition of the heart. Again and again, I've proven to myself that it only takes a little time spent together with a person for things to feel the same as before. We should never be fooled by the pretense of feeling changed. Love is an action, not just a feeling, and sometimes we need to exercise this fact to get past the initial 'awkwardness' when we reunite with someone we've left behind.

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I've been abusing my stomach these holidays. I've spent at least 50% of the time eating out (wasting money, too) and lots of times, eating unhealthily. So, after last night's tom yum steam boat, where I mercilessly drank bowl after bowl of spicy soup, I woke up with indigestion. Worse, I stuffed myself with bak kut teh during lunch with Pei San at Klang today. Couldn't let the huge meal go to waste, after all. Now, I've to skip dinner because I can't get anything down. And maybe lunch tomorrow. Eat in haste, repent in leisure.

I've started rereading L. M. Montgomery's series of Anne of Green Gables.
It's so easy to get all excited about love and romance again, when the writing is so sweet. But I admit to blazing through some of the long winded passages.

Walking the 3 Musketeers

I have 3 dogs, and each of them is completely different in personality. Something pretty evident when I take them for walks.

Walking Macy is like walking a boulder. She moves very slowly, as one might expect when trying to pull a giant rock. And when she finds something to smell, even leaning my entire weight in the opposite direction to pull the leash doesn't work.

Walking Shadow is like walking a vacuum cleaner. He runs with his nose to the ground, sucking in all scent and smell. It's a wonder he can see where he's going.

Walking Hayley is like walking a prancing pony. She runs when you run. She jumps when you jump. And she chases me like a mad dog when I run around like a mad woman. And when she gets scared, she walks between my legs. Sometimes in a Figure 8, which trips me up.Yes, I know I'm not going to be a famous graphics designer one day. Thank you. =P
But you can't beat having dogs like mine!

P/S: Sorry to those who are not familiar with my dogs.

To Forget Again

Very few people in this world are born with a memory that allows them to remember everything. It must be terrible having to remember every single incident, taste, smell, or sound with clarity.

Although it is frustrating to be absent minded, there is something good about forgetting. Only by forgetting can you be reminded. And there is a certain joy in being surprised when you are reminded by long forgotten things.

It's like leafing through a photo album and crying with delight at all the crazy things you got up to. Or hearing a tune and being brought back to the songs and shows you loved as a child. It's like smelling a particular scent from something cooking and remembering an event related to it.

If you never forget, how can you appreciate it when you remember?

Tag Victim

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Devastated. Probably in denial at first.

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
Erm, just one of them would be to go on an Euro trip.

3. If you could be at one place right now, where would it be?
Nowhere else.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
No. Just not confident. And a lot of times unwilling to do what I must.

5. What's your ideal lover like?
Godly, sensitive, devoted, interesting.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Both, I guess. You can't control who loves you but you should never take for granted the ability to love a person.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Only as long as I'm intended to. If not, there's probably someone else waiting for me.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Let it go.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Worries about whether I can cope, whether I'll be lonely, and sadness at leaving this life behind.

10. What do you want most in life?
To be happy and to be the best person I can be.

11. Is being tagged fun?
Not really. But I think it's a great excuse to find out things about people or reveal things about yourself without being too obvious/desperate.

12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
Married, maybe 1 child, contented and loving my life.

13. Who is the current most important person to you?
Anyone of my family. (Sorry, how is it possible to choose one?)

14. What type of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Sincere, conservative (which is good), sees the good in other people, a really supportive friend.

15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
Married but sufficient? I'd rather not be married for the sake of it, though. Single and happy is fine.

16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be ?
Dog!

17. What are one of those things which you would prefer not to do?
Scooping dog poo.

18. What kind of person do you think you are?
Idealistic (or I want to be) but desperately wanting things to go my way. Analytical, sensible, do-things-1-way but secretly longing for occasional excitement.

19. What do you define as a bad day?
When nothing goes your way and everyone pisses you off.

20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?
Haihyo. Love, I guess. Since the person I choose friendship with probably wants love him/herself.

A Little Treasure Trove Called Malacca

Wheeeeeeee - yesterday was such an awesome possum day! I visited Malacca for the first time (if you don't count stop overs on flights) and it was such a cute and quaint place.

The journey there and back was pretty quick thanks to us having no qualms of driving 130-140 km/h on the PLUS highway. Nat did most of the driving while Stef drove us out of Malacca and I drove us home. The Myvi flew like it had wings and rattled like a, er, rattle.

On the way there.

We spent a lot of our time circling Pusat Bandar Melaka, mostly because we were lost. It didn't help that Marge (as sweet and helpful as she was) gave us directions that seemed to conflict with the road signs. Everybody knows what Malaysian roadsigns are like. By now, the 5 of us should be pretty well acquainted with all the roads that go around and between the town of Melaka, having driven on each road like 10 times.

Stef & Phyl wouldn't take poor quality or 2nd best. So, instead of giving up and settling for some random food place, we had to go to Jonker Walk to eat chicken rice ball and cendol with gula melaka. Then we stopped by a boutique to see-see and asked for directions to get to satay celup.

The fancy door of a handicraft shop.

Awesome (and cheap) chicken rice ball, assam fish & chicken.

Me being 'wistful'.

Some funky architecture with an open skylight in the middle of the building - a clothing store on Jonker Walk.

Found some bamboo.

Jonker Walk. Did I mention that it was raining the entire time?

A very pretty temple. I was afraid the monks would get mad at us.

Cendol!

Masjid something something. Very pretty too.

We had nowhere to go so we followed a tour bus through what we initially thought was a No Entry sign.

The infamous Kota A Famosa cannon.

Satay Celup! Incredibly yummy. Like steamboat but with gravy instead.

We ate SO much and I can't wait to do it again! Hopefully minus all the detours and stopping to ask so many people for directions. It was crazy hilarious when Nat who was driving started chasing down this boy cyclist. We called him Edward because that's what his T-shirt said, and we actually followed him in circles about town. It finally ended with Stef cat-calling him through the car window. Insane.

Shop Shop Shop!

Color in the market on Flickr © spinlab

I know I must sound like a scrooge lately (though some may claim that it has been so since the beginning of time), telling all and beyond that I can't do this or I can't do that because I have no money. Honestly, I don't. And to be fair, I have been spending a lot more freely ever since I went to Singapore and had that bit of savings from the scholarship, a habit which I've carried back here.

The difference is that back here, I'm reminded again of how I don't earn that money, and that I don't have the right to spend that money (no matter how much my parents may earn). Especially when one term of my course is the price of someone else's entire course. So I shall stop saying I'm poor, but continue to keep my pockets tight. =P

Still, I am DYING TO BUY CLOTHES! I shall continue to save up to get cheap stuff for everyday wear. Some nice tops and tees. Stef, quick quick I want to go to Petaling Street!

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Coming back from church, we saw a motorcyclist next to us with huge bags of raw chicken piled high up to his face in front of him. It was jaw-dropping.

I was hurrying the guys to snap a photo before the traffic light turned green. Think they'll be sending it to the STAR, and maybe get RM50. Guess I shouldn't get the picture from Ern Sheong to put up yet, then.

Service

Just reached home from Murni after mamak session with Phyl and her college mates, two of which happen to be from IMU (one who's from Dentistry, too) and a 3rd who is Ma-Vin! On the way there in the car, Stef and I were reminiscing about how the last we saw of Ma-Vin was when he was in a neck brace. He's so nice and gentlemanly now, what a change!

I came to a revelation while waiting for food. Mamak is the only place where you do not complain when the waiters are mean, sarcastic or teasing. The guy serving us would not recommend us any food, and when we asked what was on the other table, he told us it was Roti Hawaii. When we asked what else was nice, he wouldn't say. We said, 'So nothing else is nice? Only Roti Hawaii?' and he agreed. -.-'

He 'complained' when we ordered only one bowl of tom yum for Stef, Phyl and I, and when we ordered only one plate of Cheese Nan later. Ma-Vin was so funny, asking him to bring 10 sets of forks & spoons, as though all of us were sharing one single bowl. Then the waiter asked if he could share as well, and Ma-Vin told him to pull up a chair.

Can you imagine a waiter at a proper restaurant saying such stuff to you?

'How can you only order one?'
'No, you cannot order Milo. Order the mango drink.'
'What do you mean purple drink? There're SO many purple drinks, please be specific!'

It was so funny.

Mango drink & Roti Hawaii (courtesy of the Internet)

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Raising dogs must be like raising kids. When you first get one, you spend so much time and effort on it - training, playing, teaching, sympathizing. Now, with our 3rd one (Hayley), we can't be bothered. We don't even care that she doesn't have manners and we just shut our ears to her barking. Oh, but I did take her to the rundown tennis court just now. We ran around like insane creatures for a few rounds, her chasing me. It was surprisingly liberating.

All in all, overall, in general, I've decided that I am excited for the change that's coming. =D

I like the feeling of starting new, the feeling of meeting new people and going about doing new things. Best of all, I am thankful that the time feels right, that I can look forward and not back anymore (I hope).

Yayyyyy.

B&B

Went for Beauty & the Beast Musical at KLCC yesterday. It was okay. The production wasn't grand or anything, and maybe because we knew the story almost by heart, it wasn't very captivating.

The cousins. (Hey, I just realized it says Yvents!)

A better picture of the twin towers (though the tips are shrouded in fog).

Me, Phyl, Johanna.

My new Korean boyfriend.

Plenary Hall

Finally, a clear shot.

No matter what I do, there is a niggling sense of something being wrong.

When I am super busy, I feel disturbed that time is passing so quickly. It bothers me that I'm doing so many things without having the time to reflect on what I've been doing. It feels like 'Things To Do' is taking over my life and I'm just tagging along on the ride. By the time I hit the bed, I am shocked that a day or a week has passed without me even noticing.

On the flip side, give me a day of holiday and that doubting sensation will creep in as well. When my day is so free that I have to fill it up with activities, I strangely feel unproductive. There's this sense of guilt harbouring in me, like I'm meant to be working and suffering. Like something's wrong that I'm able to do anything I want.

Which is why I cannot imagine how people survive doing nothing for 10 months before starting university. I spent 4 months going to lessons and I still feel unsettled on vacation.

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Morning prayer actually felt pretty good. o.o Although we were the earliest at 6.45 am (for once in my life).

Sleep Disrupters

1) Construction
Drilling, hammering, sawing - all coming from the neighbour's house every morning. At first I didn't notice, although Aggie's been complaining that it's been going on for far too long for a regular renovation. But NOW. I realize I've been having far too many interrupted sleep sessions.

2) Singing
My neighbour from the row behind and one house down. To be specific, Puvan. I woke up this morning to his loud singing and wild chatter mixed with the rhythm of his splashing and pouring water from some bucket. It's driving me insane. (Not to mention him watching loud dinosaur movies and sometimes Hindi/Tamil shows in the middle of the night.)

3) Strange foreign dreams
Two nights ago, I dreamt a complete epic of a movie. I was so anxious to remember it but too lazy to get up that I went back to sleep and dreamt that I was retelling it to my sister. It had to do with braving a jungle and meeting a species of fairy-like things which unfortunately suck blood. (Yes, movies are fantasy.) The first time, they prick you on the finger, and once you've been pricked, you're able to see them as they were previously invisible. And this species, as gruesome as they sound, they were pretty cute and they protect the jungle by guarding some sacred secret.

Awaiting a fairy on Flickr © Tangent~A

My movie dream even had the climax and punchline - something about the fairy injuring himself to pretend he had taken blood, but the blood was actually his own. At the scary part of the 'movie', he was found out because the blood on his mouth didn't match the blood on the person.

(Sorry, too much detail.)

My point is, my dreams keep waking me up. I estimate that in one night's sleep, I get up at least 5 times - mostly towards the morning.