Big Bag of Insecurities

~ Im not in control, so let me go; release me. ♥ on Flickr by ✿ La Coccinelle ~ {Angie}

Traveling always makes me emotional. It just emphasizes the feeling of time passing, things changing and the past never returning.

So I couldn't help but feel a strong surge of unwanted emotions this morning. Probably after sleeping at 4 am and getting up at 6.30am for my flight as well.

Today, like on many other instances, I just felt so damned sure it was completely my fault. So ashamed and embarrassed by how lousy I was, the things I did to drive you away. I think about how unfair the circumstances were, that you came at a time when I was so vulnerable that I hadn't yet discovered myself as an individual. That I made you my everything, and by result became so dependent, clingy, needy and in short not fun to be around anymore. I feel so deeply frustrated and humiliated that this is the only image you have left of me, that in your mind I am nothing in comparison with what you have.

I wish life lessons could be learnt in a pre-real life setting, like in a classroom. So that you don't mess up the precious few real life chances you get.

But that was just Emo Me purging. Before I remembered how there's always 2 hands clapping and 2 parties to cause a breakdown.

All's good now. :D I love being home!