Labels & Identity

I wouldn't be surprised if everyone reading my blog thought I was emo-depressive or whatever the new jargon is today. I thought I should just let you know the other side of me, the frivolous airhead side. Like how I go for manicures and pedicures every month or so, simply because I think colour on nails is awesome. In fact, Ade & I had a debate once on whether accessories or nail colour is more important. At first I was adamant on nail colour, but I conceded that a great necklace or earring may pull off an outfit better.

Yea, this is a warning for more girly posts yet to come.

I've another more dominating side, the OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) one. Or neurotic. Or anal. (See? I can't just pick one.) That's the me who lays out her outfit the night before, minus the earlier auto planning time, visualizing what goes together. Not that it's a spectacular outfit, I just like to wear something different everyday. Something more convincing? At one point in childhood, I convinced myself that my hands were always dirty and I couldn't touch my face, so I washed before and after I touched ANYTHING. I even used tissue like gloves.

My point is - you can't always label people. Yes, I do it myself since I obviously use terms like bimbo, nerd, jock, dancer, mom, old man, flirt, etc. But so much of who we are and our identity is totally self constructed.

I identify with working for what I want because I'm the oldest. Or it could be because I just read that article in CLEO that claims 1st borns are pleasers, 2nd borns rebels, 3rd borns pampered. It's the same with horoscopes. Reading that I'm a Capricorn has told me I'm organized, success oriented, dry, pessimistic, stable and loving (OK fine, I added the last one myself). So did that reaffirm who I am cos' that's how I've always been? Or did it just reinforce those qualities in myself and made me more and more so?

Some people claim themselves to be rebels, defying convention. Some others just settle into their stereotype. Neither is necessarily better than the other. Being a rebel is as much an identity as any other. I believe, become who you want to be. Break free of the stereotypes you dislike, but be open to the possibility that that label isn't necessarily something bad.

I used to hate it when my friends teased me for studying, or called me goody-two-shoes. I'd rebel and do silly things just to prove I wasn't what they thought I was. We all know how tough it is to change people's perceptions of you. I'll bet that til the day I die, my gang will expect me to study hard for retiree's test or something, and continue persuading me to play the drinking game with Oo Long Tea.

But labels are useful too. Once people realize you are too stubborn to be persuaded, they take you seriously. You get to fall back on that image of yourself when there are things you don't want to do. You can turn people down without offending them, because they go, "Ah, she's just like that, it's nothing."

So, if you like who you are, embrace it to the maximum. If you don't, just break out of it. I like to surprise people once in awhile by being cheerful, bubbly and random. I'm really not that sarcastic and mean all the time haha. I'm just like everyone else. OK, I'm gonna go look for a hug now.