Lately, I feel that the bicoastal travelling is too much to handle. Every time I come back here, I seem to leave a little piece of me behind. If I travel fast enough back and forth, I may end up with nothing of me left - all scattered across the causeway.
It's different from when you have ONE home. I long for two, because the vision I had of some future here isn't easy to purge from the mind, not when it's become a part of you for almost 2 years.
When you want two homes, it gets so hard to adjust. It takes time to settle back down when you touch down, because your heart and hopes are still in the other place. Sometimes I really hate how the mind works.
I was talking to Bix. At first it seemed that 'ignorance is bliss' - if I didn't know the other side of the pasture, I wouldn't be stuck in this dilemma. Then I realized, if you DON'T know what it's like elsewhere, how would you cherish what you do have?
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, designed to make me want everything I have (or don't at the moment) more.
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