It's obviously pathetic to everyone how much I invest in certain things. But all my life, I've thought of things in relational terms, never bothered about what I'd be in the future, how much money I'd make or what achievements I'd get in life. Sure, it feels good to excel and be in the spotlight, but I always envisioned myself being truly happy when surrounded by loved ones, and all kinds of love.
So I feel this pang at throwing all form of connection away. That there's no alternative or in between, only black or white. Why can't I have grey? Because it's just going to drag me down, that's why. Thank you for yelling out the answer, class. Which brings me back to the pang. Of pretending that our 2 planets never collided in orbit in the first place.
Excuse me, do I know you?
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