The next stage in moving on is realizing that after all the time that has elapsed, no matter what happens, it's impossible for anything to ever work out again.
The next step is to stop talking, stop wanting to know and stop trying to find out anything anymore. Still figuring that one out.
It's so tiring going through everything again and again, constantly picking at what I did wrong. And knowing that I let my insecurities get the best of me again, which caused a butterfly effect and the ultimate ruination of things. But at least I can rest assured in the knowledge that I wasn't the one who stopped trying. You can't go lower than literally begging and promising to change everything, start afresh at any level and redo everything from the beginning, problem-free, just to give it another chance. No matter what, I didn't stop trying.
It's only day 3 and it's already in my face. I can breathe as long as I block off that corner of my mind. I have to be bigger than this!
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There's a beetle on my window blinds. Am just gonna sit here and watch it while I wait for my uncle to pick me up. Then he can remove it. :D
1 comment:
"You can't go lower than literally begging and promising to change everything, start afresh at any level and redo everything from the beginning, problem-free, just to give it another chance. No matter what, I didn't stop trying."
I was there as well, and for quite a while too. I've now progressed to the "not talking" stage, for just over a month now. The good news is that it does become easier; the bad news is that "easier" still hurts like hell in a handbag.
Just don't lose faith :)
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